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Andrew S

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    King's Lynn - Saturday 22nd July 2017

    in Essential Information

    Posted

    Urgent Press Release -

     

    Additional information for the average Stock Car fan about the upcoming meeting at Kings Lynn / Norfolk Arena / Adrian Flux Arena -

     

    There will be an early race (i) at around 13:30 for motor home owners to get in the car park and set up their calor gas stoves to make lancashire hot pots and boil up some tripe.

     

    At around 14:30 there will be another race (ii) for people who 'love to arrive early for no reason whatsoever' to get into the main car park alongside the motor home owners. Points will be handed out for getting on the front row. Points will be deducted for those not being inch perfect to the car parking attendant's wishes. Points will also be deducted for having any stickers referencing a defunct stock car stadium near to the venue of the highly popular (and successful) Coventry MotoFest.

     

    At 15:00 there will be yet another race (iii). This time it will be for the aforementioned 'fans' to get to the front of the entry queue with their chairs, milk crates and hidden alcoholic beverages. Points will be given for those who posses a brain and got their tickets early and walk straight past the queue at opening time. Points will be deducted for anyone complaining about how much it costs 'these days'.

     

    Once the race meeting starts (exact race TBC) there will be another race (iv). Entry to this will be for those hell bent on bleating about the dust at every single opportunity online before you can say 'Buster Rage'. The first person to start the monotonous thread will be rewarded with the 'Richard Cranium' award of a pack of out of date Space Raiders, kindly provided by one time Stock Car fan going by the name of 'Beaks'.

     

    At the end of the evening, if people make it that far (due to choking on dust, self harm or losing consciousness due to kinky but strangely interesting activities) there will, as it the tradition, be a race (v) to get out of the car park after the meeting final. Anyone leaving with a FWJ sew-on will automatically be removed from the result due to poor taste and also anyone who mutters 'Sworder would have won that if he was here' will be taken to one side and told that he's got more interest in polishing his collection of Scammell wheel nuts these days and should get over it.

     

    Of course, what Stock Car meeting would be complete without the race (vi) to the keyboards to smash the life out of any flicker of enjoyment anyone has whilst attending a meeting. This will be reviewed one calendar week after the first post and the winner will be the person who contributes to the most soul destroying and spirit crushing pile of nonsense to date. Current predictions say that Facebook is likely to provide the winner but Stoxnet is coming up quick on its heels. The award is currently being kept secret, but someone 'in the know' has predicted that it will be a season ticket to Swaffham as it's the only track that's going to left running at this rate.

     

    Thanks for your attention.

     

    ==================== MESSAGE ENDS ====================

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    Ipswich - Saturday 17th June 2017

    in Essential Information

    Posted

     

    Is there a curfew at foxhole, and does anyone know elsewhere to park as it's a nightmare to get off the stadium car park?

    park in the housing estate off bell road and walk through the heath to the stadium . saves you the time getting out of the car park at the end and the £2.00 to park also .

     

    On Glanville place?

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